“He searched for some way to bring the conversation back to its earlier level. ‘In any case, I don’t think you should worry about not having a clear idea yet of your life’s work. You’re only nineteen. It took me a long time to figure these things out. And there are lethargies and depressions that can be extremely productive. Out of the vacuum comes direction. It’s an Eastern idea.’
‘Yes, but you said earlier that the only way to find your true work is to start working. That you have to get yourself up to a certain energy level first. I don’t think I’m anywhere near that level,’ Theo said, grinning self-deprecatingly.
‘It takes time.’
‘I’m not sure I’ll ever be at that level. I’m one of the laziest people I know. What worries me …’ He was trying to frame in words his nagging fear of being, at bottom, incurably mediocre, while at the same time afraid to expose that side of himself to his father. ‘Ah well,’ he concluded with a smile. Frank returned the smile, as if they had reached some wry father-son understanding about the world’s peculiar ways.”
- Eleanor, or, The Second Marriage
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